Sabbath

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When you look deep into life, yourself and the relationship between the two, an overwhelming sense of sorrow sets in. Things seem empty. You feel lonely. You can’t really make out what’s going on. You can’t really say for sure what’s true. It’s just you and this expanse of dark unknowingness. Drop the lens you’ve…

The Empty Self

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I gasped when I saw the horror of death. I held my breath in anticipation of what was to come. I’m going to suffer pain on an inconceivable amount of levels. I’m going to be taken advantage of by other people. They’re going to hurt me and take away my happiness. Everything is going to…

What Am I?

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Is it all the individual or is it all the group? The individual is a member of the group and the fundamental particle of the group is the individual. The individual has no knowledge of themselves apart from the group. Self-consciousness is group-consciousness. The group has no knowledge of itself apart from the individual. Group-consciousness…

Life, Truth, Joy

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I feel like I’m having a crisis. I can only imagine what my middle ages are going to be like. I have this craving for authentic humanity, for discovering who I am naturally without effort. I don’t know. Everyday I take deep breaths. I try and listen to my heart beat and what my environment…

On Being Perfect

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Life is a series of transitions. It’s like a fire we’re walking through burning us up into what we are naturally. I’ve been single for nearly a year and I decided to try and get back into pursuing a relationship. It’s different though because I’m trying to fit in Orthodoxy with all that, because I…

Virgin Mary. Virgin Church.

I thought this talk was so profound that I wanted to share it here. I’ve started reading Fr. John Behr’s The Mystery of Christ and it’s a sort of revolution in my theological understanding. He starts with Christ crucified as the first point and shows how the Apostles came to understand that Christ is the…

Holy Regress

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Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. —Matthew 10:39 After a frantic, rushed night at work I drove home still moving at that same quick pace. It was like the principle of inertia was occurring in my thoughts and I couldn’t seem to slow…

My Prayer

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I want to go. I want to walk out of here and be only what I am, set apart from the world, bound by only the limits of myself. I want a new name. I want to be made of Earth, fashioned from dust and the breath of life. I want to become like Christ…

God’s Forgiveness

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7 Now war arose in heaven, Michael and his angels fighting against the dragon. And the dragon and his angels fought back, 8 but he was defeated, and there was no longer any place for them in heaven. 9 And the great dragon was thrown down, that ancient serpent, who is called the devil and Satan, the deceiver…

Introduction

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My name is Philip. I’m 23 years old. When I was 14 I became a Christian, I guess you could say, after a mystical experience in my bedroom. From then on I became a theology nerd, devoting lots of energy to studying the Bible. I grew intellectually into a Reformed perspective, most likely because of…